Slaying vampires wasn’t something you remember the president doing. Was it?

As ridiculous as the idea sounds, this film actually isn’t that bad.

Abraham Lincoln, played by Benjamin Walker, does a fantastic job portraying the historical figure as we know him today (not that we truly know exactly how he acted or was perceived, but I think he represented our interpretation of him quite well).

Walker shows us a side of Abraham Lincoln we probably never would have imagined—ever (until now I suppose). To start off, it’s absurd and makes little sense, as it’s based on fictional, mythological creatures (not saying they don’t exist, but as most of society agrees they don’t, I’ll treat them as though they don’t). The film begins with the scene of a journal, from which this story is being told. It’s a backstory read from the journal, likely narrated either by Lincoln himself or Henry (I’m not sure, but it would have been interesting if it was Henry*).

Henry Sturges is the character who trains Abraham in the film to become a vampire hunter.

The film then takes a direction you’d never associate with Abraham Lincoln—vampires.

It basically rewrites history, turning the fight for slavery into a battle against vampires– (which in hindsight is astronomically ridiculous and rather insulting) –rather than its original origins. It’s a fun take, but ultimately silly.

Hopefully, no one ever thinks this film is based on any historical events, because it isn’t. There might be some scenes here and there (like speeches) that are rooted in history, but anything related to vampires is purely fictional.

I actually thought the semi-ending of the film was well done—not “nice,” but well thought out. The scene where Abraham goes off to the theater (where he is assassinated, which is historically accurate) was a nice touch. I appreciate that they added this moment of “realness” to the ending, showing that it wasn’t just about Abraham killing vampires for freedom. It made you look back on it and piece together a more genuine feeling, like this nonsense could have been real.

“Men have enslaved each other since they invented God to forgive them for doing it.”
– Adam

That quote will likely anger a lot of Christians, but it’s also a rather funny, satirical take on religion itself (I won’t say much more on this, as it could easily turn into an essay).

Overall, the film was pretty good—solid graphics, and I loved the CGI used for the vampire faces (slow-mo kills for life #300). The characters were great (except for the female vampire, Vadoma, whose character was pretty pointless—she had one line throughout the film and did little other than look intimidating). The combat was flashy, over the top and full of that “if you swing it around cool enough it’ll do more damage” type shit. Something you would obviously expect out of this kind of film — no complaints here!

If you enjoy vampires, Abraham Lincoln being a badass, and a mix of history with vampire-slaying, give this film a watch!