Choosing who you are in life is harder than it looks, some people choose not to try, or do nothing

This film was actually painful to watch—not because it was bad (it was great), but because it was just really painful to sit through.

“Greenberg” is another one of those weird, odd films that Ben Stiller excels at. I’d have to say it’s one of his best. He delivers an incredible performance, showing the emotions of being hurt, lonely, scared, confused, and angry—all at once, within just a single conversation.

Roger Greenberg (Ben Stiller)

I’m going to discuss this character in depth because he deserves a deeper understanding than what is shown throughout the film.

Roger Greenberg was a ’60s or possibly ’70s guy who was in a band—either a singer or a drummer. I either didn’t catch which or it was never clearly stated. We do know his friend Ivan Schrank (Rhys Ifans) was the guitar player because Roger mentions it in a phone conversation.

Their band was offered a record deal when they were fresh out of college, but Roger turned it down without giving anyone a proper or legitimate reason why. Later, in a fit of drunken rage and built-up guilt, he finally reveals his reasoning to Ivan, effectively ending their friendship (or so we’re led to believe). Because of this, everyone from Roger’s band detests him.

While Roger seems to show no guilt about it—or really, no guilt or reaction to anything at all—he is what we call a douchebag. He neglects other people’s feelings, makes excuses and irrational justifications when faced with criticism, and always shifts blame onto others instead of himself. He never sees his own faults—only those of the world around him.

This is what we call a narcissist.

Roger has some kind of medical or mental disorder that requires him to see a shrink—though it’s obvious that therapy isn’t doing much for him. He acknowledges his problems but makes no effort to change them.

One of his biggest flaws is his inability to cope with reality—he constantly lives in the past. He does this more times than I can count throughout the film. He refuses to accept his loneliness and, instead of making meaningful connections in the present, he tries to latch onto people from his past—people he still calls “friends.”

The sad truth? Roger has no friends.

Another issue is his complete lack of emotional awareness—both his own and others’. This begins to improve later in the film, but for the entire first half, he doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s feelings.

When he says he’s “doing nothing by choice,” what he really means is: he has nothing to do. And even though he could be doing something, he refuses to take action.

Roger & Florence Marr (Greta Gerwig)

Roger neglects Florence so many times that it becomes infuriating to watch. You’ll probably want to turn the film off or just scream at Ben Stiller:

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

But, of course, you can’t—unless you want to look ridiculous.

That’s how real Ben Stiller makes this character feel. You forget you’re watching a film and start thinking you’re watching a real person’s life. And in a way, you are.

Ignoring the glaringly obvious red flags of future abuse and verbal toxicity, Florence still falls in love with Roger at an early stage in their relationship—for lack of a better word.

What you’ll see throughout the film is how their thing develops, falls apart, and then somehow comes back together again.

Think of their relationship like LEGO bricks:
Easily put together, frustratingly hard to take apart, and somehow, despite everything, it still works.

There’s a lot happening in this film, and you probably won’t catch everything on the first watch—I didn’t. I had to go back and rewatch certain scenes to fully grasp what was going on.

Roger is clearly on the brink of crazy, and what holds him together is his obsessive need to write complaint letters to companies and his constant craving for approval and attention from others.

This is what defines Roger as a person and as a character. And Ben Stiller absolutely nails it.

If you enjoy slightly hard-to-follow plotlines, Ben Stiller at his best, a drama-filled, dysfunctional love life, and a man who has no idea what he’s doing—give this film a watch.