This horrific twist and turn of events will make you never want to get married.

Gone Girl starts as any movie with this title might suggest—great.

Of course, like any romantic or dramatic film, nothing good ever lasts. But Gone Girl takes it to another level when it comes to the dedication you can give to your significant other.

The film begins somewhere in the middle, or more toward the end, giving us a glimpse of what’s to come. But all it reveals at first is longing, despair, and depression. The reasons for these emotions, and where they stem from, are an entirely different story that soon presents itself.

One day, after Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) returns home from his “day” (which, as far as we know, consisted of going to a bar), he finds his front door left open, a glass table shattered in the living room, and worst of all—his wife is gone. Nick immediately contacts the police because something seems strange. Though he fears the worst, deep down, a part of him feels almost relieved that she’s gone. This emotional response isn’t entirely clear at first, but later in the film, we get a very clear understanding of why he felt this way.

After the police search his house and ask him what seem like trivial questions, they find clues and take Nick down to the station. There, they interrogate him mostly about his wife’s health and social life. Now, because Nick didn’t have much of a connection with his wife (don’t get me wrong, in the early years of their relationship, it was “sugar on cake,” but as soon as the normal “marriage issues” arose—starting with Nick’s mother getting breast cancer—things began to fall apart), questions like “What was her blood type?” and “Did she have any best friends?” were difficult for him to answer. Not because he didn’t know his wife—no. It was because she never told him.

At this point, whether you’ve already seen the film and are reading this for a recap, or you haven’t seen it at all, you start to sense that things were not going well between them. At all.

Early scenes in the film depict Nick as a violent, aggressive, lazy husband who does nothing and has no job. While this isn’t entirely true—he is a bit lazy and unemployed, but to be fair, most writers are—Nick himself denies ever physically harming his wife. Yet, the film shows scenes that suggest otherwise. It also implies that Nick didn’t want a baby, though he later furiously tells his sister that it was actually Amy who didn’t want one.

By this point, you’re confused. You don’t know whose story to believe, and logically, you want to believe what’s presented in front of you. But that’s exactly what this film wants you to do. Don’t get sucked into the obvious drama and ridiculous narratives. Deep down, know that something’s fishy—and hold on to that assumption because it will aid you when the time is right.

Amy (Rosamund Pike) wants to play a game with her husband because he’s been playing games with her.

She never wanted her marriage to turn into the ones their friends had, but ultimately, it became something far worse. And while she thought she was in control, things spiraled more and more out of her hands.

After Nick’s affair with a 20-year-old student, which Amy had the unfortunate experience of discovering, she completely lost it—her mind, her sense of self, and everything she had hoped for in their marriage.

In the end, you honestly don’t know who to feel sorry for. And let me not get ahead of myself—throughout the entire film, you don’t know who to sympathize with.

Should you feel sorry for the wife? Or the husband? Who was more to blame? Who started it? Who finished it? Was it worth it?

These are questions I could answer in extreme depth, but since this is a review and not a full spoiler breakdown, I won’t—except for those who dare venture further.

(SKIP THIS BELOW IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THE PLOT SPOILER-FREE)

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WARNING: CLICK TO SEE SPOILERS BELOW

Should you feel sorry for the wife or the husband?

Let’s start from the beginning.

Amy, as far as we know, has had three “lovers.”

1. Her first victim was a man she dated for a few years. When he started feeling controlled by her in a “do what I say” manner, he decided to leave. Not break up, just leave. Amy, being the insanely intelligent woman she was, knew what was happening. What she did next was chilling. She faked a rape allegation by injuring herself, then having rough sex with him to obtain his semen. She then tied herself to the bed with the ties he had bought her, all in an effort to frame him. Because of this, the man had to plead guilty to assault; otherwise, he would have faced prison time.
2. Her second victim was Desi Collins (Neil Patrick Harris), whom she dated in high school or college. The film doesn’t explicitly reveal why she left him, but it does show that Desi never moved on. He stalked Amy, allegedly attempted suicide, and later, during the investigation, refused to discuss their past.
3. Her third victim? Nick.

Now, let’s talk about Nick.

As far as we know, he had two “lovers.”

1. Amy.
2. Andie (Emily Ratajkowski), a 20-year-old student with whom he had an affair.

Nick ruined his marriage by being unfaithful. After moving to Missouri and losing his mother, he became distant and started an affair.

Now, you might be thinking, Well, of course, I feel bad for the husband! He barely did anything!

Well… that’s where you’re wrong.

Have you ever been in a relationship you thought would last? Felt that nonsense we call love? And then, one day, the person you trusted the most destroys it?

Amy was willing to spend the rest of her life with this scumbag, and he blew it.

Does that justify her actions? No. But does it make her actions understandable in a twisted way? Maybe.

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Who started it? Who finished it?

It’s unclear who fell out of love first. The real question is: who gave up first? Not necessarily on love, but on the dedication to keeping their relationship alive.

Was it when they became broke? When Nick lost his job? Or was it even before that—when Amy first felt trapped in their marriage?

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. The cycle of destruction was inevitable.

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Was it worth it?

This is a question I wanted you, the reader, to reflect on.

For me? No. It wasn’t worth it.

But was it love? Hate? A mixture of both? Or simply too much of one or the other until it became something neither of them could escape?

By the end, someone died, another’s heart was broken, lies were spread, lawyers were called, hunts were conducted, robbery was committed, and so much more.

So, I ask you—was it worth it?

If you enjoy sudden, unexpected yet almost obvious plot twists, the fine line between love and hate, and one seriously messed-up relationship, give this film a watch!