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Clown (2014)

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Clown (2014)

  • Release Date: 2014-11-13
  • Runtime: 99 minutes
  • Director: Jon Watts
  • Producers: Eli Roth, Michael Cappuccino, Cody Ryder, Brian Oliver

Clown (2014)

A Gruesome Clownfiesta

A Review

Read Time: 4 min read

Rating: 3 out of 5.

This was probably the weirdest, but also the best clown horror movie I’ve ever seen.

It actually started off pretty funny—your classic low-budget horror movie with a bunch of random actors (which I personally like much better than famous ones). For one, it seems like they try a lot harder. Famous actors already know they have it in the bag, so they don’t really have to give it their all because audiences will love them regardless. Meanwhile, lesser-known actors (I feel) have to work much harder to impress people, or else everyone will just say things like, “Yeah, he was good, but you know who would’ve been PERFECT?”—blah, blah, etc.

ANYWAY.

The movie introduces us to Kent (Andy Powers), a real estate agent and loving father to his son, Jack (Christian Distefano). When the clown they hired for Jack’s birthday party cancels last minute, Kent stumbles upon an old clown costume in a house he’s selling. Desperate to save the day, he puts it on and surprises everyone at the party.

CLown car

Afterward, Kent forgets to take off the costume. He goes about his night, puts the dog outside, and glances at his reflection in the window, realizing he’s still wearing it. His wife, Meg (Laura Allen), laughs and joins him on the couch, where they talk for a while before she heads off to shower. He falls asleep.

When he wakes up the next morning, the costume is still on. Being too lazy to remove it completely, he quickly washes off the makeup and takes his son to school—still in costume.

Because he’s short on time, he just heads to work. In the clown suit.

And this is where things get freaky.

In a bathroom scene inside one of the houses he’s working at, Kent tries to take off the costume.

With very little success.

His final attempt?

Clown remove4

Complete failure.

By now, it’s pretty obvious—Kent cannot remove the clown costume.

Kent returns home to his wife, who’s understandably confused. He tries to explain that the suit won’t come off. And, of course, in classic horror movie fashion, nobody believes him.

Meg helps him try again, and this time, they manage to remove the clown nose—but it takes off the tip of his actual nose.

Now you should be catching on to what this costume really is.

Determined to figure this out, Kent tracks down the man who originally created the costume. The man invites him into his shop and offers him tea. After about five minutes of useless explanations and stalling, Kent passes out—the tea was drugged. He wakes up strapped to a table, with the man standing over him, holding a butcher knife.

The man tells him that chopping off his head is the only way to stop the demon.

Kent, naturally, goes berserk. After a struggle, he breaks free and nearly kills the man, demanding to know what the hell he’s talking about. Instead of sticking around for more attempted decapitations, Kent drags the man back home and tells Meg everything.

Horrible timing.

Because as soon as he finishes explaining, he realizes Meg’s entire family is sitting there. And from the beginning of the movie, we already know that Meg’s father never really liked Kent to begin with.

The Legend of the Clown

Once upon a time—ha.

Deep in the mountains, there lived a creature with skin as white as snow and a red nose. People called it “The Cloyne” (which, thanks to English, translates to clown).

History1

Every month, the Cloyne would lure a child into the forest and up the mountain—where it would eat them.

For five months.

One child per month.

After those five months, it would be satisfied. But only for a short while.

If the Cloyne didn’t get one child each month, it would start killing at random—especially children, which it preferred. While it could eat adults, children were just… easier.

History3

Back to the Movie

Jack, being a kid who doesn’t know any better, sneaks into the basement where Meg has locked up Kent for safekeeping. And, well…

That’s all I’ll say about that.

Before this, Jack had told Kent that kids at school were bullying him. And when you tell a demon-possessed father that someone has been picking on his son?

Yeah.

Kent pays that bully a visit.

But to avoid spoiling the rest, I’ll leave it here. And because I don’t want to post a picture of what Kent looks like after his final transformation.

If you like movies about killer clowns, skin-tight costumes (pause), and demons that enjoy children… give this movie a watch!

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