The Creator takes a jab at the ever-growing trendy A.I. wagon — but hits a pebble and sends the whole thing hopelessly toppling over like one of those Boston Dynamics dogs if you kicked it down the stairs.

Where do I even begin with this tragedy?

Does anyone — including the people who made this — actually understand what this movie’s supposed to be about? Is this the creation of God through artificial intelligence? Or are we just half-assedly sprinkling in religious undertones because “A.I. is the new higher power, guys!” and hoping the audience will eat it up?

If you’ve ever played some dogshit MMORPG, you know the worst thing those convoluted-ass games can do is text dump an entire lore bible without giving you a single reason to care about any of it. This movie does the exact same thing — skipping all that boring storytelling nonsense and throwing crusty timeline video slideshows at you like you’re supposed to just accept it as worldbuilding.

Robots used to be good, then they were gooder, then — boom! — L.A. explodes and suddenly all robots are bad now. That’s it. That’s the lore. No explanation, no nuance — just vibes.

But here’s the kicker — none of that shit even matters. They set up this whole philosophical playground to explore A.I., consciousness, and the blurred line between machine and man — then chuck all of it out the nearest window in favor of action man goes brrr.

For a movie centered around artificial intelligence, there’s almost zero fucking intelligence in how they actually handle the concept. Instead, we’re stuck watching a dramedy of some guy bringing his bionic son back from the world’s most expensive daycare.

Our all-star lineup includes:

• A double agent with emotional issues
• The third-gen android creator nobody asked for
• Robo child who can control electronics (because… sure, why not?)
• Android grandpa who randomly kicks ass for five minutes
• And the one android girl who unalived herself via the rare but very real phenomenon of exploding ice cream

This is supposed to be our Avengers squad… and I couldn’t tell you a single meaningful thing about any one of them. They’re barely characters — just sad little plot devices wandering from one set piece to the next while the soundtrack desperately tries to convince you something profound is happening.

By the halfway point, I stopped trying to care and started wishing I was watching this on TV because at least the commercials would add some spice to this flavorless bowl of disappointment.

At the end of the day, The Creator wants so badly to be one of those elevated sci-fi epics that ask big questions about humanity and technology — but it’s too afraid to actually answer any of them. Instead, it hides behind pretty visuals and a bunch of hollow emotional beats that feel factory-assembled by whatever A.I. script generator they probably used to write this mess in the first place.